Carried by the deep

You call me out upon the waters; the great unknown where feet may fail.
And there I find You in the mystery.
In oceans deep, my faith will stand. (lyrics: Oceans, by Hillsong United)

“We often move away from pain, which is helpful only before being hurt. Once in pain, it seems the only way out is through. Like someone falling off a boat, struggling to stay above water only makes things worse. We must accept we are there and settle enough so we can be carried by the deep. The willingness to do this is the genesis of faith, the giving over to currents larger than us… When we spread and go still, we are carried by the largest sea of all: the sea of grace that flows steadily beneath the turmoil of events.”  Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

_________

Water rises.

Trickle
…becomes current
…becomes river
…becomes sea.

Fear and panic
threaten
…as ankle-deep
…becomes knee-deep
…becomes waist deep
and rising.

Struggling and resisting
amplifies the waves

Surrendering to the deep
astonishes 
as one floats

in the bobbing currents,
a gentle rhythm 
of the sea of grace.

Surrender

…equals calm
…equals peace
…equals life
in the awareness 
and simple acceptance
of Presence 
of the One
who is there with you.

Be still
and know
that I Am.

(Ezekiel 47:3-5)
(Psalm 46)

Healing the wound…

 

 

 

 

Flesh wounds heal; but a scar remains, reminding one of the trauma of the injury.  To run one’s finger over the scar sends sensations rippling along altered nerve endings, a kind of numbness that pierces deeply nonetheless.  The mesmerizing sensation creates new pathways, inscribing an indelible link in one’s memory to the injury.

Is it not the same for wounds of the spirit?  While the scar is not visible, that doesn’t stop one from re-examining the wound, running a discriminating finger over the textures of the remaining memory.

But the scar – those stitches that try to rebind and piece together traumatised bits – that scar is the physical reminder of more than just the injury itself.  It is also the reminder of the healing that has taken place, the beautiful undulations of the new tissue, indicative of new growth.  Moreso than with physical scars, perhaps the challenge of spiritual scars is for us not to relive an ingrained memory over and over again; but to embrace the healing, to let go of the injury, to risk moving forward.

…….

…….

Take me past the guarded place in you

where confusion
covers itself
in unrelenting confidence
then marches on
in lively steps

Take off the façade
let it fall away
into nowhere

Turn around and face me
I search the infinite depth
where beyond all entrenchments
I find your thirst
to be met
and understood

the sadness in your bones,
the want of your silent cries
to be heard
and be known—
abiding within those
unseen landscapes
is a world of precious
dreams

Let me touch where
the battle wounds
lie quietly healing—
Buried beneath
an armored sheath
rests a lifetime of love
and loneliness,
blame and triumph,
honor and defeat

Within this blended web
of scars and treasures,
glistening with honesty,
there you are—
I found you,
beneath the soldier’s plated heart

So loosen the knots around my own
see all its agony bared and mending
and in between each open space
we’ll breathe upon the frailty

All the wishful longings to be had
bring to me yours
as I meet you there with mine.

-Susan Frybort

 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”  Mark 5:34

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4

 

Healing Begins, by Tenth Avenue North

This is where the healing begins,  
This is where the healing starts: 
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us, 
So please don’t fight
This coming light…

Forgive and Forget

…

Be still, my soul:

thy God doth undertake

to guide the future,

as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence

let nothing shake; 

all now mysterious

shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul:

the waves and winds still know 

His voice Who ruled them

while He dwelt below

… 

(http://www.lyricstime.com/hymn-be-still-my-soul-lyrics.html)

…

(from: https://www.facebook.com/MovingTheShineInDarkPlaces posted Aug 16, 2013)

…

 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?

That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you….

The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty. 

(NIV) Galatians 5:7-9

…

Press on to take hold of that for which He called you.

Forget what is behind; instead, strain for what lies ahead, for that is the goal to which He calls you.

(Paraphrase) Philippians 3:12-13

…

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive, as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

(NIV) Colossians 3:12-14

…

…

          There’s something I’m learning:  in the call to forgive and forget, forgiveness can be the easier part. Each of us is human after all. When we learn to accept that we share all-too-human traits – envy, insecurity, rage, sorrow, loneliness, egoism, hedonism, fear – we can start to see beyond the words and actions of ourselves and others and begin to commiserate, empathize, connect through the layers, and feel compassion. Once in this space, we can let it all simply ‘be’.  Forgiveness is no longer the issue:  there’s nothing to forgive if the words and actions have simply blown through.

…

          It hasn’t been easy getting to this point. But there is peace here: peace that comes when there is no longer injury, but simple recognition and acceptance of this part of being human. Like the leaves and branches that react and respond to the airs surrounding them, we too will sway, ripple and reverberate in the gentle breezes, and smash furiously with the stormy winds. We may emerge tattered, with visible scars of the tempests engulfing us, but largely, we remain connected to the whole. The purpose. The goal. We need to see that integral strength – that inner character – that makes this recovery possible. That’s when we can gather strength to once again appreciate the gentle breezes that far outweigh the tempests.  That’s when we can‘press on’, straining for what lies ahead – a little tender from the experience of it all – but what better fertile soil for the tender growth of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience?

…

          So then, if forgiveness is the easier part, it’s forgetting that can be so hard – and toxic. Until we stop replaying that incessant feedback loop – whether it be positive or negative – we will never learn from our experiences and grow. I think that’s the challenge of living in the moment.  Simply letting it ‘be’, if we cannot let it ‘go.’  And learning to live through the lens of love, acceptance, unity…. with those in our midst who make it difficult, and those who partner with us in soldiering on. What this looks like is different for every person; but “… Christian principles must in some way be translated into human life and that it is in the sphere of the material, in state and society, that responsible love has to be manifested.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, from The Cost of Discipleship, p30).  When we can forgive others, when we can simply ‘be’ and accept, and when we can learn to love, to be gentle, humble, compassionate and patient, then we can be at peace, and be open to the part we are being asked to play. I love how Bonhoeffer refines this:

…

It all depends on whether or not the fragment of our life reveals the plan and material of the whole. There are fragments which are only good to be thrown away, and others which are important for centuries to come because their fulfillment can only be a divine work. They are fragments of necessity. If our life, however remotely, reflects such a fragment… we shall not have to bewail our fragmentary life, but on the contrary, rejoice in it. (The Cost of Discipleship, p33).

 …

          To me, this encapsulates the forgive-and-forget journey: there are fragments in our life that will simply be thrown away. So then all the more reason to simply let them be; let them move through you as you simply move beyond them. But there will also be moments – telling moments – when our life will reflect a greater purpose of a divine nature. To me, this is the call to be gentle, humble, kind, compassionate, patient, and above all else, to love – others and yourself.  And in this way, I believe we will be open to ‘those fragments of necessity’ that will be ‘important for centuries to come’ because of the lasting impact they will have – on ourselves, and on others.  And ‘if our life, however remotely, reflects such a fragment,’ how can we not then rejoice, and be at peace?  Blessings to you, to me, in our respective journeys ahead.

…

 Words I Would Say, by Sidewalk Prophets

Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope.
You’re gonna do great things I already know:
God’s got his hand on you so don’t live life in fear.
Forgive and forget, but don’t forget why you’re here.
Take your time and pray.
Thank God for each day.
His love will find a way.
These are the words I would say.

Say Something…. Ash Wednesday

As we enter into the season of Lent, the lyrics of the song “Say Something” by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera hit home:

… And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I’m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something...

Say Something.  In the quiet moments when we do indeed manage to still all the voices, turn off all the distractions, and try to be, simply, in the moment – in those moments that can take such real effort and discipline – we yearn to hear something; we strain to hear something.  But sometimes, the only reward is the sound of your own pulse.  In that disturbing silence, we can experience disorientation in that void. Or we can try to carry that silence forward with us – anticipating profound truths in the days to follow.

Say Something.

Part of the Lenten Journey is the anticipation of what’s to come.  Like the sand-blasting, heat-searing, scouring and refining experience of a 40 day survival in the desert, the period of Lent exposes us to the conditions whereby we, too, can experience faith-testing refinements towards purification.  Ash Wednesday is the perfect start to that.  Ashes to ashes; dust to dust.  A poignant reminder of our mortality, our humanness, our brokenness.

And the perfect back-drop to the whirlwind of emotions and startling truths that are to come in the Easter Season.  The season of true joy.

If we were to assign characteristics to the season, Shrove Tuesday would be the portly, over-indulging, hedonistic, self-consumed egoist.  Ash Wednesday would be the repentant, supplicating, confounded soul who’s feeling lost.  Both would serve as character foils to Jesus the Christ, who emerges on the other side of Maundy Thursday and Good Friday the victorious Redeemer and relationship-cementer for us all.  It’s the Lenten journey that takes us through this myriad of roles.  In each of them, we easily recognize ourselves.  The challenge of the season is to also recognize ourselves in this God-turned-human, Jesus Christ.  If you’re like me, your journey is just starting; and just when you think you’re starting to understand, you feel infinitely smaller and like you know even less than when you started.  It’s the juxtaposition of these rich moments and the starkness of the deep silences that fit somehow with the journey of faith called Lent.

Say Something.

So the silence – the desperation even of that silence – is perhaps that disturbing, unsettling state we need; that we invite, even, on Ash Wednesday:  both to remove the distractions and constant hum of our lives that can cancel out all other authentic connections; but also to make us keenly aware of the need to listen – listen acutely – for what’s to come.

Say Something.  We are here.  And we are trying to listen.

Don’t Try so Hard, by Amy Grant

Don’t try so hard
God gives you grace and you can’t earn it
Don’t think that you’re not worth it
Because you are
He gave you His love and He’s not leaving
Gave you His Son so you’d believe it
You’re lovely even with your scars
Don’t try so hard

Back to You, by MercyMe

When I trip, I fall and slow down to a crawl
And feel like I’ve got nothing left to lose
I may slip, slide, and watch our worlds collide
But I will hit the ground running back to you…

What kind of love would say
I love you anyway
Oh, time and time again…

My Father’s Eyes

He’s got my father’s eyes…

  As a parent trying my best to raise two teens, as a spouse nurturing a life-long partnership, as a midlifer wishing to spend more time supporting two sets of aging parents, as a full-time employee wanting to make a difference, and as a Spiritual newbie seeking the purpose of it all, this phrase resonates at many levels.

As a woman, I can’t know what it means to be a father; but if the same roles of nurturer, provider, supporter, teacher and mentor are demonstrated in the fathers in your life, as they are in mine, then we share – and live – a common understanding.  And if we also share the ups and downs as we just try our honest best to meet everyone’s needs, it’s time, then, to bless together those fathers in our midst, and to thank our Father as the ultimate role-model we aspire to emulate to begin with.

The fathers in our midst…

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Music Reflections:

Lead Me, by Sanctus Real (full lyrics here)

Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh Father, show me the way
To lead them

My Father’s Eyes, by Eric Clapton    (full lyrics here)

Where do I find the words to say?
How do I teach him?
What do we play?
Bit by bit, I’ve realized
That’s when I need them,
That’s when I need my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
That’s when I need my father’s eyes.

Father’s Eyes, by Amy Grant  (full lyrics here)

When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say,

She’s got her Father’s eyes,
Her Father’s eyes;
Eyes that find the good in things,
When good is not around;
Eyes that find the source of help,
When help just can’t be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you’re going through
And feeling it the same.
Just like my Father’s eyes

Living Grace-fully

Understanding the Gift of Grace:

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

Ephesians 2:8

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

1 Corinthians 15:10

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.

Ephesians 4:1-3

Live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Colossians 3:12-14

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

How can it be, that you saved a wretch like me…?

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Message in Music:

Healing Begins, by Tenth Avenue North (full lyrics here)

So you thought you had to keep this up –
All the work that you do so we think that you’re good .
And you can’t believe it’s not enough:
All the walls you built up are just glass on the outside.

So let ’em fall down.  There’s freedom waiting in the sound.
When you let your walls fall to the ground, we’re here now .

This is where the healing begins, oh this is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within  the light meets the dark.

Sparks will fly as grace collides  with the dark inside of us
So please don’t fight this coming light.
Let this blood come cover us .  His blood can cover us.

You Found Me, by Big Daddy Weave  (full lyrics  here)

I saw a flash of light and I heard the sound
Of a voice like thunder shake the ground
It was the first time I remember ever feeling my heartbeat
And the arms that gripped me felt like grace
And I realized in their embrace
To be held so tight, I’ve never felt so free:
Also known as the day that you found me.

My whole life has changed ever since the day You came:
The way I see, the things I want, it’s everything.
Some may call it strange, I don’t care what people say
I knew You were the only way

I’ve never known a love like this.
You’ve captured my heart and You brought the sweetest
Peace to my life, brought me into the light.
I don’t think that I could ever be the same.
Who would want to be anyway?

 

You Love Me Anyway, by Sidewalk Prophets  (full lyrics here)

You call me to walk on the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly;
But the future’s so far, and my heart is so frail –
I think I’d rather stay inside.
But You love me anyway.
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known.
You love me anyway – oh Lord, how You love me.
How You love me.

Through a glass darkly….

Grace. Beauty. Truth. Love.

Add in patience, forgiveness, integrity, caring, rest. For the purpose of healing self and others.

Are there any better guiding principles to help us keep focused, especially in challenging circumstances as we persevere through barriers?

If ‘Where’s Peace?’ is the question, Love really is the answer.

Consider:

Matthew 7:24-27

Jesus said: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

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Crazy Enough, by MercyMe

All of Creation, by MercyMe

 

Leaving it all behind

Horoscope for today was so aptly fitting:

If you are feeling hurt by someone’s harshness or criticism, be kind to someone else. If you are feeling angered by someone’s unjustness, be tolerant and fair to another person. If you are feeling lost or lonely, reach out to someone else who feels that way and offer comfort and friendship. By healing those around you, you can heal yourself. You’ve endured something recently that has left you feeling a bit off center. But the more goodness you send out into the world, the more will come back to you. (c) The Daily Horoscope by Comitic

So admittedly being a bit off centre, I couldn’t offer a better message than one I offered in January – a bit of ‘physician, heal thyself’ as the flavour of the day.  With updated songs, including an absorbing preoccupation with Bob Marley right now, remixed and blended by global ‘Playing for Change’ melomanes, along with the originally offered acoustic, solo piano instrumental rendition of Chris Tomlin’s “We Fall Down.”

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We Fall Down, by Chris Tomlin, played by Zachary Schmidt

(full lyrics)

One Love, remix of Bob Marley’s song, by Playing for Change global artists

(full lyrics)

There ain’t no hiding place from the Father of Creation
Sayin’, “One love, one heart
Let’s get together and feel all right.”
I’m pleading to mankind (One love)
Oh, Lord (One heart) Whoa.
“Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right.”
Let’s get together and feel all right.

A Break in the Clouds

 

 

Scriptural Context:  (you can read the full Biblical text by clicking on the links)

Matthew 8:23-27   Jesus calms the storm

Romans 8     If God is for us, who can be against us?

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 Psalm 16   I keep my eyes always on the Lord.  With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Reflection:

“Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat”  (Matthew 8:24). How many of us have similarly felt overpowered by furious circumstances that have erupted? These storms can be external, such as international conflicts that continue to mount and concern us greatly; or the storms can be internal, like the ones in which we as human beings so regularly get caught up, either of our own making, or by being drawn in by others. It is a regular part of living! And, like the disciples in the fishing boat, when these storms erupt, instinctively we are also frightened and panic at the very real threat of being blown over and drowning. But look at what Jesus is doing. His reaction on the boat is where we need to focus: for even as the storm surge pounds, he is sleeping. Resting. Unafraid. Intuitively certain it is all under control.

The contrast between the disciples’ frenzy and Jesus’ calm certainty is revealing. As the disciples panic and rouse him, crying, “Lord, save us! We are going to drown!” Jesus simply replies: “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?”

Why indeed? In the midst of our storms that threaten career paths; that endanger the health of relationships that are most important to us; that unsettle us beyond keeping the lid on and coping well – Jesus calmly asks: “Why are you so afraid?” Given the context, the question seems absurd. Certainly, in the midst of this furious storm, the disciples’ very real concern was to be overthrown and drown. Did Jesus not see that? Did he not care? To us, his question seems likewise out of touch. Does he not see the turmoil we are in? Does he not recognize the very real sense of danger we are feeling? How can he ask us that question?

Could it be, however, that it is our attachment to our plan that is being threatened – our comfort, our ease, our safe little view of the world? Are the storms threatening, not us per se, but instead the vision we have created for ourselves? Maybe these storms, then, call on us to step back and ensure that is indeed God’s plan for us that we are pursuing, and not one we have created for our own comfort. For the Romans’ passage makes clear, “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (8:28). In all things. We will not always see divine purpose in the tumultuous circumstances swirling around us; but perhaps a plan for us is there nonetheless. Like the wind and water Jesus calms to ensure the safety of the disciples, so that they, too, can rest; perhaps our circumstances are similarly under control. Walking a life with Christ does not mean the storms will never happen. But what we need to be able to do when a storm hits is to recognize that, even then – especially then – God is with us; for,“if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). 

Look at the assurances provided for us. Carefully review and think about each one as it relates to your own circumstances: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through the one who loves us… For I am convinced that neither death nor life,neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35-39). 

Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord. And for this reason, we keep our eyes always on the Lord. With him at our right hand, we will not be shaken (Psalm 16:8). When we do that – when we honestly try to keep our sights set on where it is God wants us to go, and where it is the Spirit is prompting us to be, then we, too, can sleep, rest, during the storms, unafraid, and certain that all is under control. And then we, too, can praise God for that.

Message in Music:

Whom Shall I Fear, by Chris Tomlin   (full lyrics here)

Whom shall I fear?
I know who goes before me; I know who stands behind.
The God of angel armies is always by my side.
The one who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine.
The God of angel armies is always by my side.
And nothing formed against me shall stand.
You hold the whole world in Your hands.

That’s What Faith Can Do, by Kutless  (full lyrics here)

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn’t ever end,
Even when the sky is falling.
I’ve seen miracles just happen—silent prayers get answered,
Broken hearts become brand new; that’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard.  Impossible is not a word.
It’s just a reason for someone not to try.
Everybody’s scared to death when they decide to take that step
Out on the water.  But it’ll be alright.

Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing.
You will find your way, if you keep believing.

Be Still My Soul,  by Ginny Owens  (full lyrics here)

Be still, my soul, the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently, the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to your God, to order and provide.
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul, your best your heavenly friend,
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul, your God will undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake.
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul, the waves and winds still KNOW
His voice who ruled them while he lived below.

Be still, my soul,
Be still, my soul,
Be still.

Love Has Come

“When we learn to read the story of Jesus and see it as the story of the love of God, doing for us what we could not do for ourselves–that insight produces, again and again, a sense of astonished gratitude which is very near the heart of authentic Christian experience.”

N.T. Wright

 

Scriptural Context: (you can click on the links to read the full verses)

John 19   “It is finished.”  With that, he bowed his head and gave up his Spirit.

John 20:1–18     Mary the Magdalene and Simon Peter find the empty tomb.

John 3:16-17      For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Reflection:

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Message in Music:

Love Has Come, by Mark Schultz  (full lyrics here)

I know there will come a day when all our tears are washed away,
with a break in the clouds, His glory coming down and in that moment:

Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that God is love and love has come for us all!
Every heart set free, every one will see that God is love and love has come for us all!

Oh, and on that day we will stand amazed at our Saviour, God and King,
Just to see the face of amazing grace as our hearts rise up and sing:

Glory, glory, hallelujah, thank You for the cross!
Singing glory, glory, hallelujah, Christ has paid the cost.